So yeah today is the 21st of July and about less than 2 months before D is to leave for Portugal.
I have just realized that for the past 3 years of living here in Orange County I have always felt that I never was a part of this place, that I was just an onlooker. Every day felt like me trying to be a part of a place that I wasn't really a part of. Kinda like forcing that last piece of the puzzle!
So now I am going to take little baby steps. One thing at a time which is:
Go back to college cause nothing will amount to me if I keep waiting for my licensure.
Get own place so I can be weird without anyone seeing it, hehe.
So lets talk about the title. Globekick and Remoteyear.
Ok earlier this year D seemed really antsy, and not in a good way. I always noticed he wasn't happy with the current situation, place he was living or basically how we lived our lives in Orange County. For me it was good, I have only been here for 3 years and I still felt like an outsider, like a tourist just looking. It hasnt really dawned into me that I was actually living here and might possibly live here for about 3-5 more years because I have to go to get more education.
Then it happened, D discovered Remoteyear. A service that grants professionals who work remotely an option to travel around the world, paying a fee of 50 for interview, 5k for downpayment and 2k monthly. For a year.
He saw Remoteyear's advert on Facebook and became completely obsessed about it. He started thinking about it all the time. Reading and re-reading blogs about it. He even went as far as running around behind my back about it, he claimed he couldn't tell me cause he wasnt sure. But I knew he didn't want to tell me because it meant he was going to leave me for a year.
He wasn't able to talk to me about it, how I would feel about it or not. I kind of suggest if you are in a relationship it might be best to consult your significant other about this kind of thing cause a relationship means 2 people, it means the two of you matter, not just one person.
So for a while there I thought that I was going to be all alone again. I felt "invested" in the relationship so I wasn't exactly sure what step to take, take a break or just be ok about it? I want to travel too, but my ambitions are in the way. I am not about to give up my ambitions of being successful in my career field and have a nice pad for which I can be free to be weird and not be judged for it.
So what happened was a lot of bickering ensued. I saw myself turning into someone I have never dreamed of becoming.
Eventually I told myself, hey I love this guy. So okay if he decides to leave me for a year, and I wouldn't even know if hes coming back..then that should be okay. I'm a grown woman after all. /smug /eyeroll
So after releasing my expectations out in the wind, I have begun to focus a lot more on me in regards to self-development.
I read:
Go Suck a Lemon: Strategies for Improving your Emotional Intelligence by Michael Cornwall
It has taught me so many things, particularly how to handle expectations..I have felt so much relief and comfort reading this book in contrast to talking to actual friends..can you imagine that? I guess I just needed to find something that spoke to me in a language that I could comprehend.
So fast forward July, D has decided to take the lesser evil, Globekick. Globekick is the same service as Remoteyear, except it doesnt cost 5k downpayment and 2k monthly ,it costs significantly less but not exactly cheaper.
"It's only 3 months, Annie," D assured me with a finesse akin to a cat wrangler "I'll be back before you even realize it".
I deliberated whether or not to take this suckers bet, but either way I was letting him go.
I will post more pictures later and info regarding Globekick and Remoteyear.
Remoteyear by the way, still is a thorn on my side. I feel sort of traumatised, lol. D and I do argue, but the fights that ensued due to Remoteyear was something that I realize I had zero tolerance and zero coping mechanism for.
